The Minion, it's moving!

Well, for about a week now, She's begun to move.
Yup, minion now has a definite sex, it's a little she-minion!

I personally did not care if it was boy or girl, or if it had a limb or four missing. At this point in my life, what I want for this child is that she is healthy, is smart. Ten years back I would of probably taken care of this pregnancy had I known something was wrong with them physically since we do have Down Syndrome in the family and I've seen how hard it has been for my uncle(Who has it) and for the family.

But, growing up, maturing, and finding my Faith grow in God more over the last few years, I've come to realize, things happen for a reason, and if this child was meant to be challenged, well, It just meant we can deal with it, would and things would be fine with time.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Jacques though, he is ecstatic to know it's a little she. I can see already she's going to have him wrapped around her little finger and she's going to be daddy' girl. I find that adorable, and to see your Spouse' enjoyement of the whole experience is probably the most worth it thing ever.

I had gone to bed early, woke at 2am, wide awake, unable to sleep. 4AM came by, I forced myself to go to bed, lay down, relax, breathe. Which I did, and then, out of the blue, this *bump* was felt right under my left hand. So of course, here I am, 4:30am, cackling and laughing, half in tears and then bumps she goes again. So I try and wake him up so he can feel it, that didn't happen. And I didn't get to sleep until 6am.

The next day he got to feel her after dinner time, and since then, he constantly rubs my belly (Which, if you ask me, has just changed shape a bit, but I still look like a 'big woman') Maybe I should put pictures up to show other 'Fat-astic' ladies out there who are expecting or want to be, see how your body does change as you go.

Well, she's moving in there, mostly in the evenings and night, probably like many other women. lol

My sister is 2 months ahead of me in her pregnancy, and oh boy it's amazing to see the difference of two months! She's got a big bulging belly and you can see that little squirt move around. fascinating thing. Granted, it reminds me to much of the movie Prometheus and kind of freaks me a little inside. :-/

Anyway, the movement does make it feel more concrete now, that yes, there is something in there growing, and that in about 3 months, We'll see a little perfect being coming out from there.

Oopa Loompa, I'll eat you and spit you out! Sugar Rant

Well, since it's been 24 weeks this little minion has been incubating in my belly, and that I've not done a  cool recording of what happens and what not happens while pregnant, well here is a list!

Of course, if you've been reading my other stuff, you'll notice I, do have a sense of humour, granted sometimes a bit crass, or you will want to face palm yourself , or simply laugh a good one. Good! It's meant to be...partly informative, partly traumatizing, partly, amusing!

So, All is fine up to now. Little fine tuning to be constantly made with my Blood glucose, since it doesn't want to cooperate as much as we'd like. But, that's what eating carbs does.
Yay Carbohydrates. You little sneaky moffos. Everything you're body craves for while pregnant? Well most everything you crave for since I've had moments of intense craving for salads too.
But Carbs. Fricken in everything. Junk Food? Yeah, Carbohydrate heaven! or Hell. Depends on how you see it!

Since I am a big woman, And Diabetes runs in my family like blood in our veins, well my body has begun the kind process of being insulin resistant. See, a Government Resistance is good! A overlord resistance is also, a Tyrant Resistance too! But Insulin resistance? Hmm nah, not so good a thing.
That just means what carbs you eat, all that fine yummy sugar, goes right to that baby giving it it's first true sugar buzz of it's life!

Meaning, the minion grows bigger, and bigger than it should, where delivery complications can happen.

Mine you, you don't have to be Fat-astic to have this Gestational Diabetes Gig. I know pleeeennnty of women who are 'normal to thin rail' sizes and who had it too.
I personally think it's because our bodies float in these Additives we got in our foods like fructose, corn Syrup, Which is in like everything, look on your food labels when at the store! It's everywhere, our bodies were not made to process so much sugar and eventually you Pancreas goes..

"Fudge this Bitch, I'm taking a vacation! It might be temporary, it might be permanent, but until you smarten up, I'm on a Fricken strike! Mexico Bitches!!!"

So see, it's not so fun.
I could of gotten away with Metformin, which is a little pill you swallow that helps your body process these sugary yummies. But, some people, like 8% or so, react not to well to them...Guess who's in that percentage!...*JUMPS UP AND DOWN HOLDING HER HAND UP*ME ME ME ME ME!!!

So, my yummy smelling GYN put me on insulin right up. Don't be afraid ladies of the needles. It isn't that bad as you'd think. really. Just hold it in, don't pull back ...Not like you got in this situation by your partner pulling back....
And inject.
It does help. But honestly, at my levels of resistance, if I remotely had enough self control, I am pretty sure I could manage mostly without insulin and just diet and exercisse through it.
Sadly, my fasting numbers are slightly higher than what the doctor wishes so, Insulin stays.

Also, big babies seem to run in my family on this generation. See, my grandmother gave birth to my mother who was, 13 pounds o.O Holy lord. And my mother is NOT a tall big woman like I am! hells no! She's been average/petite most of her life!
Then my sister. Oh Gosh....My sister had her first son over 3 and half years ago... 12.9 pounds of sugary pink chubbiness! Poor thing, her numbers were low like mine but they figured it was 'okay'. In the end, not that okay since now, in her 2nd pregnancy, she has to take insulin and her chances of staying on insulin afterwards are very high. All because the staff were being 'slack'.

So with me, well, the doctor wants to make sure that will not happen. It is a worrisome progress since all you tend to think is 'if I cant get these sugars under control, will baby be big too, will it have troubles. What can happen to me'. I mean a shit load of things can and will go in your mind if you are in this situation.

Don't stress. It makes it worse. In my case, it does this.

I see high numbers, I stress, I feel troubled, I eat junk to help feel better. The Junk Brings the blood sugars up, numbers get high again, you feel horrible, and eat junk again to feel better.
It's a vicious cycle.

The kind of Cycle most over weight person will have I bet. We eat, to compensate our emotions, or to fill in something, to make yourself feel better due to a situation.  you need to eat, you eat wrong things, feel bad, then need a picker upper, so eat more junk. See? Horrible Horrible. It's worse than Drugs.
Because your body, for a while after detox, you will not need the drug. It's chemicals, not meant to be there. The desire is in your head.
Food? You NEED Food to survive. You're body needs the fuel, the energy it produces. Worse is good foods, the Wholesome foods our grandparents use to eat out of their gardens? Well it's more expensive than going to a Burger joint and get a Burger under 2$. And the burger is already made, so easy access and easy to go.

Today's world, we are all about 'fast fast and faster'. Cooking a healthy meal has jumped in the back seat to many things. But it's starting to come back I think I hope.

Because I don't want this lifestyle for my kid, so this week, I have been trying to jump in gear and be more careful. Make homemade meals, even if some meals are store bought, to at least add a salad, Read the labels so your carbs are lower. Eat Protein, eat the healthy fats to fill you up.

And talk. Talk about how you are feeling. take your phone, call, go see a friend, or blog it even. vent it out!

Gosh, now that I read what I've just written, I guess I won't be making a list of things about pregnancy. I guess this turned out into a Sugar eating rant!LOL
Adios Amigos!

Hey! Look, I have a brain! wait, no, that's a blog!

Ha! been a while since i wrote hasn't it.

Gosh, if it wasn't for The better half(My Husband), I would of utterly, totally had forgotten about the blog thing.

it's sad, since I used to love to write so much. Not Journal style but, Story wise. For years I can't seem to muster an inkling of an idea or put words together to make sense for stories that used to drown my head.

Anyway, he mentioned it, and mentioned it, kept saying he enjoyed reading what I had posted and should do more. Well, here we are. Trying to push about the cotton balls that form my brain and write for you guys & gals who could potentially be reading this blog.

So, as of today, I am  24 Weeks and a half in the pregnancy. Wow, that's almost 2/3 of the way.

Lots has happened since I've last written about it.
I guess this blog is all about being pregnant right now isn't it. After all, it isn't called Fat-astic & pregnant for nothing.

I have quite a few friends who are at the moment trying to conceive, wanting to conceive *again* or simply have the strong desire to be a parent but cannot due to certain circumstances in their lives.

As happy as I am for myself about waiting for our first child, I always have these people in the back of my mind & heart.
I ache for them. Because I've wanted it for so long myself, I know, at least, what part of their pain is.
It's hard to watch those around you expecting, raising a family, or sometimes, terminating a pregnancy due to certain circumstances in their lives that make it to hard for them to bring another life in this world. What ever the reason is, it still can be hard for women, or men, who have all this love to give to this little human being and be unable to have 'one of your own'.

I try not to rub it in their faces, try not to bring it in conversations they are in, because I know, by experience it doesn't always make you feel good inside. You start to feel resentment, hate for those that suddenly announce they are expecting. Even if they are close friends, acquaintances, and even family members. You keep asking yourself, and God 'why them, why not me', keep questioning everything, letting this bitterness take over, even if part of you *IS* happy for them, it's the negative feelings that pushes everything away and takes over.

Many are so overwhelmed by the hormones, emotions of expecting, that they don't care what they say to who or what, they just seem to do so. They are happy, so they think every one around them are going to be super happy for them too and will share their thoughts and sentiments about it all.

It's like, being extremely diabetic, and some one putting before you this yummy scrumptious piece of dessert in your face, and they rant on how it tastes so good! how the texture mixes so well together, how moist it is BUT you can't have any or you'll like go in a coma or something.
Yeah, you feel rotten after a while.

So for those expecting, keep in mind if you have a friend, who has been trying for a while, or wished they could be a parent so they can love their own little chubba, perhaps have a small talk with them. Ask them how they are doing, make it about them for a while and not yourself all the time. Depending how close you are, how open your relationship is, ask them if there are subjects or something they would like you to skip when around them. Or perhaps, something they would like to be part of too.

Either way, having a child isn't just your life but those around you too. Some will gain, some will loose. Gaining a new family member, sometimes loosing a good friend who you loved to hang out with or play Games with but now, can't devote more time to you because they have this child in their life. Either way, be happy, but also be careful of what you say. The world doesn't revolve around one person, but around us all.

Okay, I guess I have a lot to write about today. Look at that.

So back to the 'me' segment.
So having a child is well, one of the most natural and oldest thing in the world.
Women have done it before, way way waaayyy before, and will keep on doing it for quite a while to come...Unless every one goes infertile due to some super Conspiracy type of horror...Okay let's not get into that!
Anyhoo.

I do have lots more to say but, for now, I think I'm done. Perhaps later I'll write more. but I do need to get back into it. Have a great day every one!

Digestional Diabetes.Yes, It's hard to Digest.

Yup, I called it Digestional. LOL It's gestational as my sister so well corrected me on Facebook. But I call it digestional because it's hard to digest this bit of info, but mostly it's all the lack of concrete information they give you at the hospital' nutrition centre. Well, where I live at least, and I found.

So, yesterday I went in, again to see my OBG Doc. Well, he gave me the good news. My Thyroid looks awesome in the blood tests results, so I doubt they will be giving me a bigger dosage, yay that! They had me monitoring my blood pressure recently due to the last two visits, it was rather high, especially for me since I've NEVER had HBP.

So home I went with a little machine to test myself. Of course, every second day I tested, it was absolutely Purrrrrfect. I know why it was high, one big nasty ewie Word. S-T-R-E-S-S.
With dad being hospitalized that week I went in for the first big consult, I was stressed out of my mind, add that we didn't hear the baby' heart on the doppler machine, Not enough sleep, Yeah, it' was enough to send it right up there. the second week, well, on the Thursday I was suppose to meet the OBG Doc for the first time to get the measurements for dating done, but unforeseen events, I had to run off on my app to go to my clientele. I do work you know. So that same evening, the clinic calls me and tells me.

"The Doctor wants to see you ASAP tomorrow. It's urgent."
In my head of a first time to be mom, the two words ASAP and urgent just made my heart skip, and the Stress levels went up. Ewie!
So no surprise that when I went to see the doctor that day, the blood pressure was high, Again!

Well not anymore, right now, it's gorgeous and fine.
But now another result came in. My Blood Glucose. *facepalms*
I dreaded this one pretty much since day one.

I mean, Diabetes runs in the family like the tourista on a bad Resort.  I've been blessed not to have been plagued by it with my weight. until now. Yeah, it's high, so they make me cancel another full day of clients, so I can go see the nutritionist ASAP that day.(yesterday)

Alright, I go fetch my testing machine, strips, lancets, the whole nine yards. You know, best be prepared, they can show me how it works since I was seeing a diabetes woman too.

Well. So she shows me how the machine works. the BASIC work. That's about it. Okay.... I guess I will ignore the fancy gadgets and bells and whistles this machine can do and use it with basic use.... Like buying an Iphone but not using any APPS beside the phone feature.

Then the nutritionist. This part is where I want to say big words. But I won't.

She asks me what is a typical breakfast. Okay, I some time skip it, I am a night owl. Wake up late, run to work. Since my pregnancy I've tried grabbing a bagel(I know, not the best to do, but better than empty stomach right?) Or I simply eat lunch as breakfast.

She asks what about milk, what about bread?

Well, in our house, the only milk products that come in is Sometimes Yogurt, ice cream and cheese.
Since I told her hubby tends to be very snotty, he does tend to produce a crazy amount of mucus, we've pegged it down to cat allergies and milk. So both are out our house.
Also, as many are starting to know, Milk isn't the best for you either. Add to it I've been snotty and phlegm-ee myself in the past month, Milk is the last thing I want to drink right now. I've done it with some cravings I've had, and paid with just more phlegm in my throat and nose. Not fun.

So I tell her this and she starts raving how milk is important for the baby to grow.
Hmmm I am thinking. I was just told i have GD. Shouldn't I stay away from Milk!?!? It does spike your blood sugars!
So, drink milk, spike the sugars up, but have calcium and snot....Can't I get calcium elsewhere.?? Right?

Okay, then she proceeds asking about bread. Oh boy.
We don't usually buy it. Once in a while when we get a craving for a sandwich. Since we eat out a lot, (sadly) we get our bread in burger form and all. burgh.

I told her, bread we don't, hubby can't digest it right, and seems i might have some trouble too. If I eat t much of it, I start having very dry skin, my elbows will crack until it hurts .

Her solution.? Eat bread, get cream for the skin o.o

Okay, Sure.

So I tell her I know what my big issues are.

first of all, I know what sort of food to eat, but when it comes to recipes, cooking, I am overwhelmed by the recipes and information out there. Especially now, some food I need to stay away from, others enjoy, bla bla.

It's a lot for the brain to process.

Second of all, I do tend to get fast food for dinner since I work threw my dinner time, arrive home around 8pm. I don't want to cook at 8pm, Not really. So I would grab a stupid burger.

Thirdly, Pre-making the meals on the week ends just never work out. I have planned for it numerous times, but never end up making them.  Insert reason Number 1 of finding the recipes, plan your meals, just makes it a brain pain.

Well, she tells me this.

'You need to be organized, you're not organized. Plan your meals, go shop for them. Learn to read the labels. You and your husband are going to be role models for this child, and you are going to show it how to be inactive and eat wrong. Do you want that? Well get yourself organized."

ohkay, I know i need to plan meals but to tell me this? Honestly after I just told her I have problems with figuring what recipes to really use that will work for Hubby and me!?!?

So I tell her."I need help with a menu. Help to figure out what to eat, make a meal plan."

Her response."I have to many patients to see, I don't do meal plans'.

Okay...So her job is what? To quote from the canadian food guide?? To tell me everything I do wrong?

I might be fat yes, but I KNOW what I am doing wrong. The sad thing is, I just need some one to show me HOW TO DO IT RIGHT. NOt tell me what I am doing wrong!
Most obese people know they are eating the wrong foods, we know veggies, meat, are best and processed is worse.

BUT, when you don't know how to cook the right foods, make simple meals, it all is overwhelming and discouraging when you try on your own.

Now add that she promoted foods that, recent research has shown is WORSE for your health just threw red flags at me.

Like she said. "If it's in the canadian food guide, then it's good to eat'.

Oh boy woman. I wanted to fume then.

So margarine is actually NOT healthy for you. Research shows it but the Food guide says to eat it.
Soy product. Same. it WOULD be good if it was NATURAL> But it's GMO. GROSS.
Breads. some are good yes. But not what they advertise.

when I told her that we didn't eat certain things because we read it was not good, she pretty much told me this.

"Stop reading stuff online. "

But where else can I get the help!?! Like she was a big help beside putting me down and throwing me back at square one.

I did write my frustration on Facebook and with other women I know have had GD, Quite a few have send me some inquiries and tips. I guess not all professionals are helpful. It honestly sucks that this is the health system we got.

If you struggle with meal planning out here, I guess your best thing is to go pay out of your pockets places like weight Watchers, Simply for Life.

being fat doesn't mean your are ignorant. You know what you are doing wrong. But years of not practicing it, you unfortunately need some one to hold your hand for a while to help you get on track.

Like training wheels on a kid' bike. You don't start riding that bike immediately. You need support, guidance to get it right.

This lady was not this, she instead patronized me and did insult me a few times. Yeah, look where those two things took me over the last 30 some years.*points to fat self*

**Sorry for the Typos and errors. I just am a bit emotional, and tired**

Attack of the vampires!

It's been a while since I've last posted something. Not every day is worth mentioning, unless you want to read about how I just had a weeping melt down while seeing a baby crying or some random commercial on tv.

So today is the 13 weeks and 3 days marking. Yay!
So we saw the little peanut last Friday, Jacques is pretty sure he saw some dingleberries on the ultra sound lol. He was so proud to see this little minion we've made, I can't wait to see him once the minion is born. Lol

Now, because of my awesome family history with the lovely sweetling diabetes, they've decided to test me well before the 24 week mark for gestational diabetes.

My sister who is half the person I am (physically) had it with her first born and they never caught it. Hurgh! Resulting for a 12.9 pounds baby and her prett much being doomed with diabetes in the long run :(

So here I am getting poked, prodded like a little lab rat, asked to pee in two containers when I am not sure if all this blood testing is going to leave me with anything hydration to help me pee with.

Here I am sitting, waiting for the first hour mark so they can test afte drinking that awesome (cough) orange syrup that makes your stomach slowly turn on itself. Then I have to wait another full hour for the two hour testing! Hurgh! The price to pay to make sure your body isn't going all insulin nutters lol

Oooo! 5 minutes to go before I get the one hour mark testing! Better log out!
Over and out!!

DD Night!!!

So we are clear about this post... No it's not about my girls being a size DD type of post! Granted, with pregnancy I'm pretty sure they will there once more and beyond that. And in a way I don't blame you for thinking DD was about the tatas. This blog is about being pregnant and being faaaaatt-astic!

Tonight, Wednesday night, DD night stands for a while different ball game..
This middle of the week night stands for one thing and one thing only. The one show I will step out my house until 3am an go spend the evening at my sister in law place.
I bet you are wondering, 'what in a frogs name is she talking about. Tell. Us already'.
Well mes amis, DD night is for Duck Dynasty night!!!*insert theme song from show*
That's right folks! This girl looooovess those Louisiana bearded duck call making hunting goofs of men that is the Robertson family and friends.

I don't know how close to reality it all is but I enjoy the redneck feel warmth of them, their humor and their sense of family.
I love how the show ends each night with Mr Phil praying over the family meal with every one there and those last words they tend to share always have a good value. Even if silly and humorous.

Humor is important to me. I mean, if you knew my family you would totally understand. You don't go to the movies with my father, my husband and brother if its a comedy.. You will want to roll under your seat and die. They laugh so loudly. Just as individuals that together they make others sound like mice. Ok so I am a loud laugher too lol

But we love to tease one another, we always joke and have something witty to say. And I was raised with a grandfather that looooved hunting. I mean 80 years old and made trips up to Nunavut from new brunsiwck(I think it was 11 plane transfers) to get to destination and get in the bush just so he could hunt.
My brother hunts, some cousins too. Jacques and I don't but we are both interested in getting our gun licenses at one point or another.

I would of long ago but, grandad had this thing. Women don't shoot guns and you by God don't go hunting with the men!!! So even if interested, I never got to hunting with him like my brother or young cousins.

Doesn't mean I don't appreciate it! Hmmm. Good moose or deer steak!! I am drooling just thinking of it lol

Any hoo. It just shows, I love the redneck thing. The Robertson clan is a weekly thin for me and my sister in law. We will watch reruns just to have a good laugh with uncle Si and drool on handsome Jase.

To me they beat any of those reality shows you got playing. I don't care about the bachelor surrounded by airbags and airheads or the meat market of the bachelorette. I want good old family values(which seem to lack in today' society) with a good tipping of humor and sillyness. my duck commanders they deliver that!

Peace out*falls on her pillow to sleep without spell proofing or making sure her iPhone autocorrect didn't attack during th writing of this post*

Slugish zombie day

You know, it's just one of those days. You get woken up by some one trying to play a song with your doorbell. Not getting the message that 1, you're not home. 2.maybe you're sleeping. 3.Maybe you just don't want to see any one! 4. You're pregnant, fell asleep at 4;30am and want to catch on some few zzz' so you don't nap mid afternoon!

...So I woke, I got my birthday suit covered up, and oh look, it's dad, what the heck dad? I had no idea you were coming up today. I guess dad wanted to catch a cat nap on my couch before he drove back home -_-

So, we give him our bed, Jacques hits the dishes like a BOSS, and Me? I drool on the couch like another boss.
It's just one of those days where, I want to curl up, sleep all day. Which normally I wouldn't do or don't feel like doing. Me and Nap time have never really been best friends.

Me:Oh nap, it would be so awesome right now!
Naptime:Suuure, come to the dark side for 20min or an hour. And you will wake up with the worse headache, nausea and grumpiness EVAH!

I swear, I am not my father' daughter when it comes to his favorite pastime, naps.

So now, It's 4pm, well getting there, and I have to head out, go to work for an hour or two to work...But being one of those days, I just want to crawl in a hole and stay there, be a hermit, be a zombie and not be the awesome Therapist that I am.

I guess, I should go shower, and get my bum bum shakin' and head out huh.
Just one of those days, where I had wished, the door bell didn't exist.

Not what if my baby has no toes...What if I can't find a car seat for my....JEEP!

I swear, Ron' words about Hermione 'She needs to get her priority straight'
could apply to me right now.

Since the day I found out I was pregnant, my main worry was not, 'oh geeze, I must eat healthy!' 
'will it be healthy?' 'am I going to miscarry'. So yes, those thoughts and many others have come and gone in my head, much like I know they have with other momma' to be and momma who have been.

But my big worry that has kept me awake some nights after googling for info is... Will I ever find a baby car seat that will fit in my 2003 Jeep TJ!

I know, silly!!!
But you got to understand. I've wanted a Jeep since the first time I rod in my uncle Paul Renegade jeep as a kid.
He took us out in the woods, out in some river, up some hills, oh I had fallen in love having the breeze in my hair and getting a bit of splashes of water from the river!
From early on, I dreamt of having my dream car. A Wrangler jeep(Yes, we can call them Wranglers here In Canada now!)

Well, about 4 or 5 years ago, that dream became reality when my brother, who also dreamt of owning a jeep bought his very first TJ! Oh My the Gods I was sooooo jealous! But within six months, his dream collapsed when he and his wife had the sudden news they were expecting AND my brother had just made the big decision to go back to school to become an electrician.

What was his misfortune in loosing the vehicle of his dream became My reality of having mine!HA! Well, I took over his jeep since the poor guy would of lost quite a few grand on trying to resell it after just buying it from the lot.


Jeeps are not the most comfortable rides, but I've seen so much worse! I love how you are higher than most vehicles, I enjoy being compact and it turns on a dime! Better, the top off! OMG, having a Jeep has taken me out of my glow in the dark pale vampiric skin to a freckled semi tanned tone! yes yes, I've traded the child of the night gig for the redneck git'er muddy!

I love it. Love the jeep movement, love the jeep wave, love the look of the vehicle, everything. Oh yes, and It totally makes me score brownie points in the summer when I strip it bare(no roof, no doors) and take my nephews and niece out for a ride!! I swear, I am the coolest thing out there when summer comes! And even winter since I tend to do silly things with them....Shhhh.. Don't tell their parents!

Anyway....SQUIRREL!

....I was saying, I am worrying almost nightly, How am I going to fit a baby car seat in the back of my shoe box jeep!?!? You see, some will tell me, bring your passenger seat all the way to the front and voila! you got room! yeah..And where will I or my tall husband sit? Strap on the hood like a deer who met it's doom on a nice crispy Autumn day? Because, I'm 5'11, and he's 6 feet. We need leg room in our little Gem of a red jeep I call my Morgan.(Long story lol)

I'm sure there is some special baby seat out there made for a compact car, I mean c'mon! Look at all the Europeans and their little toy cars! I doubt they put their babies in a wagon and tie it to the bumper of their cars!!!!

Oh well.....If we don't find something, I guess, I'll have to like dump my husband. Like hell I'm getting rid of my jeep! :P


PS....I'm just kidding! Never getting rid of Jacques! He's to awesome to get rid of! ....And a new model would be to much breaking in and training to do! AHAHAh

The boobs, they hurts usss! My precioussesss!!!

Note: There shall be graphic details here. I am warning you!

As a Therapist, having clients who've been pregnant in the past, Family and friends too, You hear all sort of stuff.
ESPECIALLY as a Therapist.  I won't go saying the stuff I hear since well, you know, I got a code of Ethic to up hold but I can say this from family and friends.

They would tell me "oh the breasts, they do hurt!"

Most of my life, I've never really had issues with the melon twins when it came to pain and discomfort around the 'Red Army' time of the month.(Yes you've guessed it. Period, menstruations, Red army. HA!)

Anyhoo, never really had it until when I hit 29. Sometimes I'd get the pain, sometimes I didn't.
In the past year, it would happen more often, but, meh, I could ignore it since it would come for a few minutes, last 3-4 days a week before the Whole Army attacked full force.
All good right?

Well, pregnancy boobage pain is like....Well, This is how I can explain it

I wake up in the morning, all is great. Ohkay, so the girls feel a bit heavy, no real change in size, or coloration like some do. Oh kay I lie. The boobs are slightly larger, not in my face O-M-G they are getting big fast just but a 'oh, look, a bit fuller in the hands'. Woo fondle!
Well the big difference for me are...the Nipples.
OH goodness. Most who know me and who've heard me before or gone bra shopping with me know. I will NOT buy anything without padding inside.
Why? Because my nippies, are always outies.

Hot or cold, sunny or dark, Summer or winter, there they are. Gloriously sticking out my bra and shirt saying "HELLO WORLD!! LOOK AT US, WE ARE HERE TO POINT YOUR DIRECTION IN LIFE!" Granted they don't point in the same direction all the time.

Well anyway, I was not the only one to notice that the bitsies are bigger.  A big grown up man called husband has also noticed. Not when he sees me naked out of the shower or going to bed. oh nooooo. He notices one day when he's giving me a big hug after coming home from work!!!!
His face jsut changed, looked down and went 'Hurgh....I can feel your nips against my chest. are you wearing a bra?" and I'm all "Hurgh DUH yeah! late afternoon and I'm fully dressed!"

Yeah, another family member thought I was very happy to see him when he gave me a hug and felt the girls saying hi to him too. EMBARRASSING MUCH!?!?!

So, we know the nipple get harder, bigger, Gosh I hope no bigger than they are now or this poor child will choke on it before it gets a drop of milk out of me!

...I swear I must suffer of Attention deficit disorder at times. I was suppose to speak of boob pain and instead I went on a major rant about nipple size. Alright back on track!

So, this is the sort of pain I've felt in the past few weeks.

I put on my bra, put a shirt on and oups there it starts...A slow burn. Starts from the tip of the nipple and just grows in and around the boob. Sometimes I grab them in my bra, press them to my chest, NOTHING I do helps. Not scratching, not pinching, not pressing, Nothing!
Worse is, going outside shoveling snow. Oh when I come in it's like frost bites on the nipplies. Horrible horrible searing burning pain!

I swear, I Really swear, little invisible Imps exist! And they attack pregnant women with their razor sharp flaming teeth!!! That's how it feels! Constant burning gnawing on the precious' ones! That's how i can describe this pain. Just, nasty burning that just won't stop and when it does and you take a breath of relief, it starts again! I am GLAD the IMps found another pregnant woman to harass lately since in the past 4 days I noticed, no gnawing the bits feeling!....Now I fear waht will it feel like once I breast feed. If the kidlets decides to latch on of course. Probably feel like Gollum sucking on his wrrrriiiiigggly fish?

Oh look, Two Pink Lines!!!

Hello folks!

So, a quick history here.

December 20th 2012. I'm at the hospital, strapped to a bed in the OR, calm as can be, why? Because my Bloody Gallbladder is finally coming out and it won't cause me issues ever EVER again!

Oh my attacks were not life threatening but they were getting worse and worse, and worse....and..You get the picture. So, they got me a spot and got it out right before the Holidays. 

Given I am a massage therapist, well, I took the full month of January off, so I could rest and heal good, so that when I did come back to work, I wouldn't go strain myself, injure and then be off work for longer, or worse, have to go get something fixed in mah bellay.

January was utter chillax time. I crocheted this sweet ass blanket for my husband, I watched More Netflix than I could stand, and Just, took it easy peasy.

February 2013 comes along, I start work.

I noticed That my breasts were really bugging me each morning, and even at night, but figured oh, The 'bitch' is coming in two weeks, it's normal. Thing is, normally, the boobage pain thing lasts 4 or so days a week before the "Red Army' attacks.

Bah, must be the hormones going weird on me because I'm getting older. BAH!

Now, two weeks into working again, i do notice I am out of breath pretty easy. Oh KAY! So I know I'm fat, DUH, doesn't take Einstein to see that one. But I normally don't struggle for air at work and I don't feel dizzy like that. I brush it off, after all, I just spent over a month on my ass, all that worked were my hands and fingers with my crochet hook!

Hmm February 12, 2013. I went out with my sis in law Lyne(love her to death) and just felt offish. Like I was catching a cold but didn't want to get cold medicine. My sister who I spoke earlier that morning kept barking at me "Go get a pee test!" 

So I caved in and went to get one at the Super mega Dollarama store. All Canadians Love The Dollar store.lol

I get home, I don't really want to pee on the stick, Don't want to see the negative result to be honest. I've been there before, Didn't want to face that. Yup, you guessed it, we've been wanting kids for a while now, but it never happened. No woman who wants a child likes the discouragement of the "Your NOT pregnant' test.

But, I was feeling pretty shitty, so I sat on that mighty throne, peed in a little cup and beep beep, added a few magical yellow drops on that test. Immediately I saw a the test change, and blinked. Is that, a double line??Hmm no, to faint!

So I leave the washroom, grab my cell to call my sister in law, Since I want her to come over, to come and see herself if She sees what I just saw.

You'd swear I was looking for a fricken Lochness Monster or something.

As the phone is ringing, I go to the washroom to wash my hands, look down and freeze.

The two pink lines are SOLID. Like, fuck Casper the ghost line, these are real solid lines.

My sis in law answers with a hello and I swear the poor woman was greeted by "AAHH!!!!!*SOBSOBSOBSNIFFLEAAHHH PREGNANT?!?!"

So she rushes over from her house that is oh so far away from mine(Not 2 min away), comes in and here I am, sobbing like a baby, Thinking "DAMN you Dollar Store for your Prank pee tests this is NOT a nice prank!"

Of course, she's kind of crying, I'm crying, takes me a good 15min to calm down, but Still under shock. I call my sister, who is ALSO pregnant now, she's at work, and jsut starts screaming in the phone and bawling her eyes out like a baby while on the line with me.

You got to see that I'm the eldest of 3. My sister, has a 3 year old Son and is 7 weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy, and my brother who is the youngest has 2 kids of his own.

I've been with my spouse the longest and we never got pregnant until now. So this is like OH MY **** GOSH This is ammaaaaaazing news!!

Of course I'm just 4 weeks along right. But it's my first, and I know things can go wrong in the first trimester, but I'm so happy that I have to call my folks too now. Granted, I called since my sister was so excited she was threatening to tell them herself right away.lol

So, I called, got them both on the line, and warned them "ready for a 5th grandchild?"

Dad screamed, mom did but said the F bomb in her surprised tone. 

Now for hubby...So...Hubby is at work..

Hubby, Who is named Jacques, is a Technician on a WindMil farm. He harvests Wind! shah

No, really, he has an awesome job that he seems to be enjoying and works with some very awesome guys and gal too.

Well, he's at work, far off in the field, where we have No cellular connection. No way to reach him until he goes to the substation or if, I go to work and some one relays a message to him via Radio.

Hmmm radio...*flash idea* My sister in law and myself decide to go to our husband' work office Oh yes, my brother and my husband work together. Awesome all over again.

We get there, tell Super Awesome Tracy the news and what we want to do. Tell him via radio.Well...I can't talk on the air, not allowed so Tracy does it for us.

Long story, poor guy is so under shock form the news, My brother said he spent the next hour with this dumb look on his face and couldn't function right what so ever.

And being that this was done over the work radio ALLLLLL the folks he was working with that day, heard the news so poor Jacques was getting bombarded with congrats LOL And of course, men being men, teased about how his balls finally came threw.

Hello World!

If you turn up on this page , and you're not family, friends and have not a clue what this Blog is about, well, The title does say it all.

FAT-astic & pregnant.

Ha! I made twist with a word and I feel like a genius right now. :P

So hello World, My Name is Jennifer N.
Hang in there, this is my first real blog, so there are going to be some trial and errors going on for sure.!
Let's stay on the subject though. For now at least.

SOOOOoooo

Yup, I'm Fat. Well, if We went with the clinical  term they would categorize me in, it would be, Morbidly Obese.  What a word, Morbidly.
So, here are the Numbers. I'm 34, standing at 5'11", I weight 365 Pounds & I wear a size 26 and have more Silvery white hair than most 50 year old do.

Some of you will cringe, some might go 'Holy Fudgesicle in the driveway', others will go, okay so get on with it.  Well, so what, that's where I'm at, you're not dealing with it, I am, so keep your 'helpful advice' to yourself. **Yes, I do mean insults, or pointing out I'm Fat..ASTIC!**

Anyhoo. So, The joy of it is that, I'm pretty healthy really. So my thyroid is under active by a smidge, always has been and only now have they decided to really put me on Synthroid for it. A big whooping o.o50mg. Woooww big dosage. But beside that? NOthing is wrong. No blood pressure, diabetes, nothing of the sort.*Though I am aware with the years coming by, these things could become reality for me*

I'm not very active, I admit to that. I Think on going to walk every single day but never get my ass pass that door. I hate walking. It bores me. Oh yes, boring is just not a nice word when your trying to find something to motivate you.

So now, the fun part.

I'm 9 1/2 Weeks pregnant with my first baby. I'm Pretty stoked about it and so is my husband. Yes, I have a husband, we've been together since high school and he's the bomb. Oh, I am going off subject again! I swear, I'm worse than a squirrel with ADH---Oh a shinny!

So, when I heard the news that yup, I was having a little minion growing in me, Want it or not, my brain kicked in hard about my health.

"You can't gain weight! OMG You won't be able to get clothing that fit! Gestational Diabetes ALERT!!!MY boobs are going to be Fracken HUGE!!! I HAVE TO EAT RIGHT!! LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!!"

Those are just a few things that go on and on and on in my head, and I bet it does in other Women' head who consider themselves  Obese, Fat, fluffy, round, Curvy and are also pregnant.

I figure, I will write the story of how I found out I was pregnant in another post.
For now, I am writing this blog for myself. Updates on how I feel during the pregnancy, how things are going and all.  To help my sanity and vent out, and maybe help others with their own trials of being Fat-astic and pregnant too.

Hey, maybe it'll jsut be an entertaining read for others, and make you laugh a bit, great!
Anywhoo

Over and out for now, Because clearly, My attention span went out the window!